Worry Time

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01What it is

Trying not to worry does not work. Postponing worry, oddly, often does. You pick a fixed fifteen minutes each day, at the same time and preferably in the same place, and that is when you worry. When a worry shows up outside the window, you write it on a list and tell yourself you will get to it at the appointed time.

02Why it might work

Two mechanisms. First, worry is partly a habit that is reinforced by happening at unpredictable times all day; giving it a slot breaks the pattern of it hijacking every moment. Second, by the time the window arrives, a good proportion of the day list has stopped mattering, which teaches you something about worry that no amount of reassurance can.

03The benefits

04The full guide

1. Pick a fixed fifteen minutesSame time daily. Early evening works for most people. Not within two hours of bed.
2. Pick a fixed place, and not your bedA particular chair. The association is part of the mechanism.
3. Outside the window, write worries down and postponeA note on your phone is fine. The writing matters: it reassures you nothing is being lost.
4. At the appointed time, worry deliberatelyGo through the list. Give it the full fifteen minutes, even if it feels unnecessary.
5. Sort each item into two pilesThings I can act on, and things I cannot. For the first, write one next action. For the second, note that no amount of worrying changes it.
6. When the fifteen minutes are up, stopGet up and leave the chair. The boundary is the whole point.

05Best time to do it

• Early eveningLate enough to catch the day, early enough not to affect sleep.
• Not last thing at nightThis is the most common mistake and it costs people sleep.
• Every day, including good daysThe habit is what makes the postponement credible to yourself.
• Same chair, same clock timeConsistency does a lot of the work here.